Troll la la - second grade hero

In second grade I had an extensive treasure troll doll collection (which if I do say so myself is a hilarious conversation starter or pick up line...don't you think?). Remember treasure trolls?They were made out of a soft rubbery plastic, they had really creepy smiles, androgynous bodies, the occasional jewel for a belly button, and different color wispy blown out hair (which I always wondered if that was someone's job, before the trolls were sold, to blow dry their hair. . you know with a mini hair dryer). Remember remember? If childhood nightmares are flooding back to you, I apologize, but will admit that we might be talking about the same trolls.

So anyways I pretty much had every troll that was accessible to purchase in Salem, Oregon. Kimono troll, British guard, hula dancer, pilot, chef, ballerina, vagabond...you name it. It is a fact, that just about every week of second grade I would pack my trolls into a giant duffle bag and bring them with me for show and tell. I was sort of a hated troll doll legend, I'd like to think. Hated because who the hell wants to see the same damn duffle bag of troll dolls (or any for that matter) and a legend because there were so many, and I would occasionally update the duffle bag.

(Side note, I realize there was one show and tell that I did not bring the duffle of trolls. It was the week I fell down and got a concussion, I had to wear a giant silver eye patch. Anyways the patch trumped the trolls, and I brought that silver gem to class).

Skip to the point in the story where my teacher was not in class, and we had a substitute teacher. It was a show and tell day. There I was, playing during free time, when the substitute turns the lights on and off, and tells us It's time to clean up now. You know what I did, I just kept on playing. Now at this point in the story I would like to note that I didn't continue playing to be bad, or because I didn't notice the lights or something, in fact I was a very nice child. I kept playing because, like the individually blow dried hair of a troll doll, I had contemplated this situation before. Ok so everyone is cleaning up, and the substitute says loudly IT'S TIME TO CLEAN UP NOW (obviously directed at me, and partially at the british guard troll doll I was playing with). I continued to not hear the substitute until she walked right up to me and sat down:

"Emily, it's time to clean up now." She said real stern, and calm, in sort of a reasoning, un reasoning voice (like teachers do).

And you know what I say back at her (oh and this was something I had really rationalized)

I said "No thank you, I'm not going to clean up. You know kids are sick and tired of adults asking them to clean up. I will clean up with the class, when you clean up with the class."

At this point I truly thought I was starting a revolution. I thought, all the kids will carry me out on their shoulders, and the substitute will think I'm some sort of out spoken presidential candidate. As you can imagine I was wrong. I got a blue slip, and had to see the principle. The worst part, my classmates didn't even have the nerve to carry me on their shoulder's to the principle's office...bastards.

Of course I told the class my parents would be so happy that I stood up for children, they would probably buy me a new troll doll. I told the students "just you wait till show and tell next week, just you wait..."